Insecurities

 
Before starting college, I never really understood why people badly wanted to be in a relationship.
Neither did I realise 3 months into college.

Yes, I admit, I've had my series of crushes. 2 infact. None of them productive or successful. However, now that i've entered my 5th month of college, I can understand why some people get depressed due to single-hood.

Its a peer thingy. Expecially when you see so many couples around you every single day, looking all happy and mushy. Its kinda cute I admit. But I also came to realise how it unconsciously makes someone who is single feel a little left out? I dont think thats the right word. hmmm...perhaps...lonely?...erm wishful? whatever it may be, I bet you understand (I HOPE).



I guess Its not the issue of being rejected wish sort of crumbles my outer appearance but the fact that I'm not good enough. Its mainly the insecurities and not the jealousy. If I see my crush with another girl, I'm not literally dying of jealousy but the frustration of not being able to look good enough or have the sparkling personality of that girl he is with is what takes over. Of course i'm not jealous of her. pfftt..heck no. Just the wish that I wasnt such a freak who scares away people. The wish that I was Taller, Hotter and everything else.
 

Yeah well thats peer pressure I guess. Sooner or later, you learn to adjust to it. I sincerely hope.....

So till then, I love being single !